"Roadblock"

Getting sick in ur final year..final term..final week..before two major papers due is like a BIG pain in d ass..
didn't do much of the work for two days..ohmyholymice..
swallow so much Panadol I dunno if my kidney can handle them like how I assumed they could..hahaha...
started to feel a bit fever-ish during last weekends..then ya..I had a fever..haha.. y? I didn't knw.. maybe my body systems protest my constant putting them under pressure n tension..
so one word.. I m WEAK.. not really as strong as I thought I was.. x( tiny bit of stress n I got fever..zzZ

lesson: I won't pressure n stress myself too much frm now on.. papers done on time or not... A+ or not (Got an A+ for the previous essay is more than enuf to prove to myself that I have the potentials haha).. I DUN FARKING GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE. I will juz do it n if can finish them then I m happy enuf..
Dun want to get severe sickness before I graduate...or after I graduate..or before I can even get a taste of wad life has to offer.. hahaha.... Health is certainly more damn important than a piece of degree paper.. so people.. take good care of urself.. =)

After resting for two days.. today I resume my back to library mode... (ya rite..u said u dun want to pressure urself..haha... but still have to do the work rite?)
Hopped on the bus...bus crowded like canned sardine.. then I started to feel dizzy..my vision was blurred I only saw white lights n couldn't see anything in front. eyes felt like high pressured fluid pushing frm inside..sign of insufficient O2 to the brain?.. so I quickly got down at the next stop to get some cooling fresh air before I really collapsed in d bus.. gosh... n indeed felt a bit better.. got on another bus afterwards n headed to library like usual. xD (ya my heart juz never knw when to give up..ain't I haha)

I think the biggest problem with myself is.. I really want to prove not to anyone but to myself (of course there is always that comparing in between) that I have the potential n I really can do something n excel in something..to prove to myself that I m worth of something.. haha.. I never like keep losing to myself.. a bit of improvement on my own progress I would get really happy.. haha.. so I guess in the process of trying to get that little bit of improvement so to be happy..I really tense myself too hard...
n now I realized.. if u pushing urself too hard in the process..it is like forcing a piece of machine to overwork n overproduce..eventually u will break down..then u will be eliminated coz u broke down. Good maintenance is wad keeping a machine work for years..haha..
Breaking through ur limits is not achieved only by pushing urself hard... it has to be done with many more other circumstances like chances..opportunities..help from others...good people u met..good resources n etc..
Success comes with of course hardwork n effort..but u still need the right opportunities to shine...the right resources..the right time..n so on u name it.. hahah...

okay.. enuf crap for today.. one fever let me realize quite a little bit of things.. =)
indeed we all learn slowly through things like dis..

A few roadblocks down the road slow u down..but u will have the time to reflect for a little if u were indeed speeding too fast n ignored ur own n others' safety.. making urself dangerous..unreachable..selfish to others.. then there comes the roadblock..u stopped..paid the fine for speeding.. u learnt ur lesson.. n then u went on full throttle again down the road with the right pace as well as the safety and well-being of others and ur own in ur mind and heart.. a long and exciting journey well ahead till u reach the next roadblock again.. see where u went wrong n u learn..the process goes in cycle.. Part of life =) learning..

(of course..never cheat or bribe at the roadblocks..lol..coz anyhow u will never able to cheat death..when it is time the grim reaper comes knocking at ur window to confirm ur identity..dun be shocked by its large n magnificent sickle..that juz has to be ur final roadblock and ur last fine..price: ur life.. LOL.. hopefully when that time comes..u have much memories n r already happy..satisfied..grateful with ur life that u r willing to give it up.. =D )

ah..life.. always full of the unexpectable and the expectable.. =)