Raining again....

It is raining again outside... thunder and lightning...
I am stranded in the web this time not library... Settling Universities' documents..
Can't have dinner now..coz no umbrella... Used to keep reminding myself to bring a small umbrella but the word small makes me have no confidence in it...thus in the end, no umbrella at all in my bag...

Now is raining season.. Almost everyday rains... great.. just like my feeling right now.. Feeling miserable these days.. This week I am going to have my IELTS examination.. MOCK TEST last week, Writing component, I got band 5,5.. Reading Component: band 6, Listening: band 6, and Speaking: Don't want to mention about it....bad..
I seriously don't know what I am doing right now and what I was doing... Failure in everything.. Try to recall anything I had done which was a success.. NONE! Seriously, NONE!
First semester grades were like shit.. Grades for Mid term second semester also like shit...

I am not complaining here..I know something must be wrong with me.. My brain..my heart..or maybe my consciousness... I am just trying to write whatever I am feeling right now in this post but I am feeling EMPTY.. However, writing something makes me feel slightly better.. Don't ask me "Are you ok?".. I am definitely OK because I am not KO yet...


Keep telling myself "Work Hard!" but telling myself to do it and doing it myself are two different things..because I think I am not working hard enough..

Therefore, I may stop learning how to blog these few days and try to learn how to study... Wish I can resist the temptations to login to blogger and write something foolish to avoid myself becoming a laughing stock..

Am I a disgrace in the morality of mankind? Had been thinking this during the weekends, and the answer to myself is YES..